Ni ayé àtijọ́, òbi si òbi àti ẹbi si ẹbi ló nṣe ètò iyàwó fi fẹ́ fún ọmọ ọkùnrin ti ó bá ti bàláágà, ti wọn rò pé ó lè tọ́jú iyàwó.  Obinrin ki tètè bàláágà, nitori ki wọn tó bẹ̀rẹ̀ si ṣe nkan oṣù, ọ̀pọ̀lọpọ̀ obinrin ma ndàgbà tó bi ọdún mẹrin-din-lógún tàbi jù bẹ́ ẹ̀ lọ.  Gẹgẹ bi wọn ti ma nsọ ni igbà igbéyàwó ibilẹ “òdòdó kán wà lágbàlá ti a fẹ́ já”, bi òbi tàbi ẹbi bá ṣe akiyesi ọmọ obinrin ti ó wù wọn lati fẹ́ fún ọmọ ọkunrin wọn, yálà idilé si idilé tàbi ni agbègbè ni ibi “ọdún omidan”, wọn yio lọ bá òbi/ẹbi obinrin na a lati bẹ̀rẹ̀ ètò bi wọn yio ti fẹ fún ọmọ wọn. Ni ayé igbàlódé, obinrin yára lati bàláágà, nitori omiran a bẹ̀rẹ̀ nkan oṣú ni bi ọmọ ọdún mọ́kànlá.  Obinrin ki yára fẹ́ ọkọ mọ nitori ilé-iwé àti pé ki ṣe òbi àti ẹbi ló nfẹ́ obinrin fún ọmọ ọkùnrin mọ.

Yorùbá ma nlò ọ̀rọ̀ ti ó sọ pé “Ọ̀kan-lé-nigba lọkọ ọmọge, ikan ori rẹ ni ọkọ gidi” lati la obinrin lóye pé ki ṣe gbogbo ọkunrin ti ó bá wá bá obinrin lati sọ̀rọ̀ ifẹ́ ló ṣe tán lati fẹ́ iyàwó, gbogbo wọn kọ́ si ni “ọkọ gidi”.  Kò yẹ ki obinrin kanra tàbi lé ọkùnrin ti ó bá kọ ẹnu ifẹ́ si wọn pẹ̀lú èébú, nitori Yorùbá sọ wipé, “A kì í kí aya-ọba kó di oyún” ṣùgbọ́n ki wọn farabalẹ̀ lati mọ irú ẹni ti ọkùnrin na a jẹ.  Li lé ọkùnrin nigbati ọ̀pọ̀ ọkùnrin bá fẹ́ yan obinrin lọrẹ, pàtàki ni igba ti obinrin bá ṣẹ̀ṣẹ̀ bàláágà, lè fa ki obinrin ṣe àṣimú ni igba ti wọn bá ṣe tán lati fẹ́ ọkọ, nitori ó ti lè bọ́ si àsikò ikánjú.

Ki ṣe obinrin nikan ni ọ̀rọ̀ Yorùbá wọnyi bá wi, ó bá ọkùnrin na a wi.  Ọkùnrin miran á fi àárọ̀ ṣeré nitori wọn rò wipé àsikò wà fún wọn, nitori eyi, wọn á gbé obinrin kan, ju ikan silẹ̀ titi wọn yio fẹ́ obinrin burúkú.  Eyi ti ó tún wọ́pọ̀ láyé òde oni ni wipé, ọkunrin miran kò mọ obinrin ti ó ti lọ́kọ yàtọ̀ si ọmọge, nipa ki kọ ẹnu ifẹ́ si gbogbo obinrin, eleyi lè fa àkóbá fún ọkùnrin.  Eyi ti ó ṣe pàtàki ni ki ọkùnrin àti obinrin bọ̀wọ̀ fúnra.

ENGLIST TRANSLATION

In the olden days, parents and family arrange marriages for their children when they come of age and especially when it is believed, the boy has become a man and can provide for his wife.   The growth of girls to womanhood was slower, because they often began their menstrual cycle at about sixteen or above.  According to the introductory phrase used during traditional marriage “There is a flower at your backyard that we would love to pluck”, this is often used by would-be groom’s parents/family to indicate interest in a would-be bride identified within the community or during “traditional ceremony of rite of passage”.   In the modern time, girls mature quicker, as some start menstrual cycle at about eleven or even lower.   Most women no longer marry as early as in the olden days because of schooling and freedom of choice instead of parents/family’s pre-arranged choice.

Yoruba proverb that said “There are two hundred and one suitors to a spinster, only one would make a good husband”, is used to enlighten girls that not all the men that has approached a lady is ready for marriage or would make a good husband.  Another Yoruba adage said, “Greeting cannot impregnate the King’s wife”, hence, ladies should not be snobbish or drive away suitors by being abusive but take time to study each suitor.  Consequence of driving away suitors at the girl’s prime, could lead to marital wrong choice at the last minute especially in desperation.

The above adage is not only applicable to ladies, it can also be applied to men.  Some men believe that they have ample time to play around before settling for marriage hence they waste their prime by flirting with many ladies and might end up marrying the worst behaved woman.  It is also becoming common for men to flirt indiscriminately without differentiating between a spinster and a married woman, as a result, some have landed into serious trouble.  The important thing is for both men and women to have mutual respect for each other.

Originally posted 2015-02-03 21:50:24. Republished by Blog Post Promoter