Ìfẹ́ kò fọ́jú, ẹni ti ó wọnú ìfẹ́ ló fọ́jú: ‘Igbéyàwó ki ṣe ọjà òkùnkùn’ – Love is not blind, it is the person falling in love that is blind”: Marriage is not ‘Black Market’

Ni ayé àtijọ́, ki òbí tó gbà lati fi ọmọ fún ọkọ, wọn yio ṣe iwadi irú iwà àti àìsàn ti ó wọ́pọ̀ ni irú idile bẹ́ ẹ̀. Nitori eyi, igbéyàwó ibilẹ̀ ayé àtijọ́ ma npẹ́ ju ti ayé òde òni. Bi ọmọ obinrin bá nlọ si ilé ọkọ, ikan ninu ẹrù tó ṣe pàtàki ni ki wọn gbé “ẹni” fún dáni lati fi han pé kò si àyè fun ni ilé òbi rẹ mọ nitori ó ti di ara kan pẹ̀lú ẹbi ọkọ rẹ.

Ọkùnrin fi ìfẹ́ han obinrin – Couple in love

Ni idà keji, obinrin ayé òde òni, kò dúró ki òbí ṣe iwadi rara, pàtàki bi wọn bá pàdé ni ilú nla ti èrò lati oriṣiriṣi ẹ̀yà pọ̀ si tàbi ni ilé-iwé. Ọkùnrin ri obinrin, wọn fi ìfẹ́ han si ara wọn, ó pari, ọ̀pọ̀ ki ṣe iwadi lati wo ohun ti àgbà tàbi òbí nwò ki wọn tó ṣe igbéyàwó. Obinrin ti lè lóyún ki òbí tó gbọ́ tàbi ki wọn tó lọ si ilé Ìjọ́sìn lati ṣe ètò igbéyàwó. Àwọn miran nkánjú, wọn kò lè dúró gba imọ̀ràn. Irú imọ̀ràn wo ni òbí tàbi Alufa fẹ́ fún ọkùnrin àti obinrin bẹ́ ẹ̀?

Ki ṣe “ìfẹ́ ló fọ́jú”, ṣùgbọ́n “àwọn ti ó wọnú ìfẹ́ ló fọ́jú” nitori, bi obinrin tàbi ọkùnrin miran bá ti ri owó, ẹwà, ipò agbára, wọn á dijú si àlébù miran ti ó wà lára ẹni ti wọn fẹ́ fẹ́. Igbéyàwó ki ṣe ọjà̀ òkùnkùn, ṣùgbọ́n àwọn ti ó nwọ̀ ọ́ ni ó dijú, nitori nigbati àlébù ti wọn dijú si bá bẹ̀rẹ̀ si jade lẹhin igbéyàwó, igbéyàwó á túká.

Ìmọ̀ràn fún ọkùnrin àti obinrin ti ó nronú lati ṣe igbéyàwó ni ki wọn lajú, ki wọn si farabalẹ̀ ṣe iwadi irú iwa ti wọn lè gbà lati fi bára gbé lai wo ohun ayé bi ẹwà, owó àti ipò nitori ìwà ló ṣe kókó jù fún igbéyàwó ti yio di alẹ́.

ENGLISH TRANSLATION

In the olden days, before the parent of a girl would agree to give out the hands of their daughter in marriage, they would find out the family character traits or the kind of sickness peculiar to such family. As a result of this enquiry, olden days traditional marriage often last longer than modern day marriage. One of the traditional bridal gifts is a “a mat” which is a symbol that once a girl is married, she cannot no longer return to take a bedroom in her parent’s house since she is now part of the groom’s family.

On the other hand, nowadays, ladies no longer wait for parents to enquire, particularly, if she meets her partner in the big city where there are people from different ethnic groups/nations or in School. Man meets woman, they fall in love, end of story, as they no longer border to find out about character traits or care about elder/parent’s opinion. Some ladies could even have become pregnant before informing parent or planning Religious marriage. Some are in such a haste that they cannot wait to seek counsel. What kind of counsel can a parent or Priest give such a couple?

It is not “Love that is blind” but “those who are in love blindly” because some couples predicate their love on materialism such as riches/money, beauty or position of authority, hence they close their eyes to their partner’s other character disorder. Marriage is not a “Black Market”, but it is those entering into marriage that go in blindly, as a result, when the character disorder they turned blind eyes to begin to manifest, the marriage begins to fall apart.

Advice for men and women that are planning to tie the nut, is to open their eyes by patiently identifying the kind of character that can be tolerated after marriage without making “beauty, riches and position” the main consideration, as upright character is key to a marriage that will last a lifetime.

Originally posted 2015-01-06 09:00:19. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Yoruba Blog

Ẹ jẹ ki a gbé èdè àti àṣà Yorùbá Lárugẹ: keeping the Yoruba language alive…

Ìfẹ́ kò fọ́jú, ẹni ti ó wọnú ìfẹ́ ló fọ́jú: ‘Igbéyàwó ki ṣe ọjà òkùnkùn’ – Love is not blind, it is the person falling in love that is blind”: Marriage is not ‘Black Market’

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